My TV Show Review/Extreme Rant of Attack on Titan

Yo, what's up, Kemosabes?

This is your friendly film, TV show, and episode reporter here with another review.

Today, for my 29th TV show analysis, and as requested by my good friend on FiMFiction.net, BradyBunch, I'm gonna give you guys my take of "Attack on Titan".

Here's the rundown of this series:

After his hometown is destroyed and his mother is killed, young Eren Jaeger vows to cleanse the earth of the giant humanoid Titans that have brought humanity to the brink of extinction.

I'd like to be honest, I was initially reluctant to ever give this series a look. It was primarily because of how intense this show appeared to be among others and due to lack of experience with anime-related shows and films.

However, I later decided that this was something I wouldn't be able to get off my back if I didn't review it, especially because of how often Brady asked me to review it in the past. I also figured that if I could handle watching other films and shows that were pretty intense, then I could surely handle seeing this show.

So, what do I think of this program personally?

Well, after simply watching the first two episodes of it, I'm gonna come clean by saying that "Attack on Titan"...is nothing but an unbearable pile of dung heap!

On one hand, I can tell that the people behind this program were obviously quite ambitious. But, none of that was ever able to overcome how infuriating I found it to be and the numerous flaws I spotted, and that's even coming from a guy who's seen his first anime program.

For instance, the voice acting, characters, and character development were openly less than stellar.

Accompanied by headache-inducingly stilted, forced, and wooden dialogue, the way the performers portrayed their characters made them sound like they were always either angry or uptight no matter what sort of scenes they were featured in, especially that of whoever was playing Eren Jaeger. To top it all off, the characters themselves were extremely bland and unmemorable. Hardly any of them had much in the ways of personality, relatability, or likability. And yes, I did see that many of them had growth, but it certainly wasn't strong enough to get me to like them or think any differently of them.

The overall quality of the concept and direction wasn't to my liking either, if I may add.

From the very start, I was unable to get engaged by what was being presented due to how disjointed and confusing things often seemed to get. As I watched the first episodes via Hulu, I noticed that everything basically felt like scrambled plot pieces crammed together at the last minute, and the way everything was executed seemed to openly cause the narrative flow to get clunky and questionable. Of course I knew that the titans were going to break through the wall somehow and that the characters were going to have to face them, but that prospect was basically predictable from the moment I started watching it.

I get that the show was likewise obviously made to be a dark-disaster-drama, but the tone was something I've found myself having issues with too. In every way, the show was dark and dramatic in an infuriating kind of way, and because of the large focus put into making it such the production team didn't take the time to help it have personality and heart so that it wouldn't seem bare (something that's similarly the case with Russell Crowe's "Noah", if I may add). Every time I personally even found myself gaining an understanding as to what was happening, there would be these unnecessary fact letters that ultimately distracted from the concept.

Finally, the animation was literally some of the worst I ever saw in a modern day cartoon.

Throughout my time watching it, I saw that there were stills of pictures with characters that were obviously made to show them moving, but they weren't moving at all. It was like the animators didn't take the time to bring to life whatever storyboards they were given and just merely shoved in what was drawn by the artists at the last minute. In addition to this, the designs of the titans were quite honestly hideous, the cinematography was jarring, and the frequent use of blood splattering everywhere made everything repulsive to look at. The worst part is that it was more cheesy than artistic.

In conclusion, in contrast to however many think "Attack on Titan" is the greatest show ever made or have them in the favorite list of shows, I found this program to be nothing but a hunk of junk that does not deserve a fanbase, recognition, awards, or acclaim. It's lifeless, bland, and pretty much the very definition of what shows like "Avatar: The Last Airbender" are not.

So, I rate "Attack on Titan" zero out of five stars.

And before anyone asks:

Yes, because of seeing it, I'm pretty much anti-Attack on Titan and I'm now both embarrassed and ashamed to have ever seen this atrocity.